Hypothetical unrequited love story:
1. Man clearly states to woman that he doesn't want to be her boyfriend.
2. Man continues to call every night. Woman reiterates to herself regularly that the man doesn't love her. He's just her friend. She knows she should learn to love him less, but he's wonderful. He's a miracle to her.
3. This can end, she surmises, in three ways: A. He loves her one day (unlikely) B. They find other people to talk to and grow apart (likely, painful) C. It goes on like this forever (impossible).
4. She decides that when he meets a woman he might want to love, she'll leave. Better one enormous heartache than a hundred small ones.
5. Time passes.
6. Physical distance and disease and sadness. Ugly words are spoken on both sides.
7. He tells her he's in love (not with her) and asks to take a break from her until the summer. But she's been accepted into a doctoral program in Nebraska (he doesn't know) and by summer she'll likely be gone.
8. She tells him she doesn't want to talk to him anymore.
Did she do the right thing? Where should the line be drawn between being selfish and self-preserving?
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3 comments:
At the risk of sounding overly simplistic, the line between selfishness and self-preservation isn't really the line Hypothetical Woman needs to be worrying about.
One day, wise turtle was talking to the somewhat flighty and irresponsible earthworm prince, and turtle said this: "We do what we need to do to survive."
"But sometimes we do what we want to do," countered the prince, "even when that hurts us a little."
"And when we choose to do painful things, we're not doing what we need to do to survive?" pondered the turtle aloud.
The earthworm prince opened his earthworm mouth to answer turtle, but all that came out was "AAAAARRRGGGHHhhh..."
Turtle had eaten the worm. Turtles don't usually eat earthworms, but Turtle hated being challenged on his ideas, and believed that culinary adventurousness was good for the soul.
MORAL: Dudes who won't commit but who still suck up every last bit of emotional support they can get like psychic vampires, and who insist on controlling every aspect of their "non-relationships," deserve it when they get eaten by curmudgeonly turtles.
I love Aesop.
That was the most awesome story. Ever.
Thinking of heading to Nebraska? Fantastic. That's right next door to Iowa. I was just there on Monday; I had the best pancakes I have eaten in my entire life.
Believe me, I'm a man who knows his way around a pancake.
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