At Least I Still Have the Dog

There are probably multiple reasons that I never really went public with the fact that I got "officially" engaged to my former Significant Person back on November (I had asked him in September, but had to keep it quiet), the most primary of which was this ominous sense in the back of my head that it was doomed in some way. Me and my stupid ominous senses.

I saw it coming. I just hoped maybe it would lose its way before it got to me.

In honor of the premature death of the one great romance of my life (so far), I offer you a Brief Synopsis:

Me: Welcome to Pittsburgh!
Him: Want some rice?
Me: Sure. (He's cute...)
Him: I really have no interest in dating anyone. (She's cute. She probably wouldn't give up her dog for me, though.)
Me: I'll date this Other Guy, then.
Him: Oh well.
Me: No, I don't think I can marry you, Other Guy.
Him: My hands are made this big so I can hold both of yours when I comfort you.
Me: (I love love love him.)
Him: Let's spend all our time together, but not date!
Me: I think I might want to be a Muslim.
Him: Really? By the way, I like you a lot. Maybe we could date?
Me: And just when I'd given up, too.
Him: I'm going to Syria!
Me: Oh. Okay.
Him: I'm back, but I can't see you. We're not married.
Me: Oh. Okay. Can we get married?
Him: I'll ask my family.
Me: Oh. Okay. (Months pass.)
Him: Alright. We can get married.
Me: That would be nice.
Him: Oh. But you have to get rid of your dog. I hate him.
Me: I can't. He's been my only companion for years. I can't abandon him now.
Him: You would if you loved me. I'd do it for you.
Me: I can't. He's my dog.

And that is why I am now single.

Perhaps it seems that I'm dealing with this flippantly, but since I've been crying in anticipation or as a direct result of my breakup for a week straight, and I've been sad about it for nearly two years, I might as well see the humor in my situation. Then, maybe, I'll be able to patch myself up and try to start my life over again.

If only I could figure out how to stop loving him.

Five Months Later...

Every time I try to write in my blog, I'm afraid that I'll regret what I write. I suppose when that happens, you get a five month gap.

Hence, this is the fourth attempt in the last hour to say what I want to say, and I think, as a compromise, I'll just avoid what's really on my mind by discussing my latest musical purchase instead.

Have you ever listened to the Decemberists? I just bought The Crane Wife on sale, after having purchased their previous recording for Significant Person on the basis of "The Engine Driver." The rest of that CD was kind of ambling, but this new one is quite arresting. Each song is completely distinct from the others, but there isn't a dull moment here.

The entire Crane Wife song sequence deals with a man who finds an injured crane, rehabilitates and marries her, then forces her to weave until (unbeknownst to him) she almost kills herself.

Then, the crane leaves him.

Or dies. It's kind of ambiguous.

Sometimes the stories that begin with the most promise don't end that way.

In completely unrelated news (since I'm not discussing my more largely looming issue), I accidentally vacuumed a sock today while cleaning, and the sock is lodged in my vacuum hose. I've tried to dislodge it with a clothes hanger to no avail. I'm open to suggestions...