Tuesday, January 23, 2007

At Least I Still Have the Dog

There are probably multiple reasons that I never really went public with the fact that I got "officially" engaged to my former Significant Person back on November (I had asked him in September, but had to keep it quiet), the most primary of which was this ominous sense in the back of my head that it was doomed in some way. Me and my stupid ominous senses.

I saw it coming. I just hoped maybe it would lose its way before it got to me.

In honor of the premature death of the one great romance of my life (so far), I offer you a Brief Synopsis:

Me: Welcome to Pittsburgh!
Him: Want some rice?
Me: Sure. (He's cute...)
Him: I really have no interest in dating anyone. (She's cute. She probably wouldn't give up her dog for me, though.)
Me: I'll date this Other Guy, then.
Him: Oh well.
Me: No, I don't think I can marry you, Other Guy.
Him: My hands are made this big so I can hold both of yours when I comfort you.
Me: (I love love love him.)
Him: Let's spend all our time together, but not date!
Me: I think I might want to be a Muslim.
Him: Really? By the way, I like you a lot. Maybe we could date?
Me: And just when I'd given up, too.
Him: I'm going to Syria!
Me: Oh. Okay.
Him: I'm back, but I can't see you. We're not married.
Me: Oh. Okay. Can we get married?
Him: I'll ask my family.
Me: Oh. Okay. (Months pass.)
Him: Alright. We can get married.
Me: That would be nice.
Him: Oh. But you have to get rid of your dog. I hate him.
Me: I can't. He's been my only companion for years. I can't abandon him now.
Him: You would if you loved me. I'd do it for you.
Me: I can't. He's my dog.

And that is why I am now single.

Perhaps it seems that I'm dealing with this flippantly, but since I've been crying in anticipation or as a direct result of my breakup for a week straight, and I've been sad about it for nearly two years, I might as well see the humor in my situation. Then, maybe, I'll be able to patch myself up and try to start my life over again.

If only I could figure out how to stop loving him.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great.

When can I see the screenplay.

-artistically inclined

Greta and Waddles! said...

It would be hard to show you a screenplay, since you're anonymous and all.

At any rate, there isn't anything else to show. I don't think it would be a real hit with audiences. No car crashes or explosions.

And the ending is a complete anti-climax, tragic as it is.

If you want to adapt it, though, go ahead.

Just let me see it when you're done.

Anonymous said...

Sample script for your approval:

DOG: woof, woof (in hush, hush, deaf dog kinda way)

HE: good doggie

DOG: woof

HE: good doggie

[long pauses, months maybe]

DOG: woof?

HE: bad dog, go away

SHE: sniff

DOG: (licks her)

SHE to HE: now you go away

HE: (inaudible whimper)

SHE: good dog, I knew it all along

THE END

Greta and Waddles! said...

I approve of the accuracy of your screenplay, and Radar likes it, too.

Except that he would like to mention that his vocalization is more like "Mmrrowf!" than "Woof!"

It does beg the question: why the change in attitude toward the pup? Alas, I fear that we can only explore this question hypothetically.

Adiv said...

Years ago, I was was seriously dating someone who had the fatal flaw of being heavily into crystals, chakras and eastern medicine. I tried to ignore the problem as I got more and more attached. In the end, I was on the verge of making a big leap, when I stopped and told her that I could not overcome the differences. It was hard on me and even harder on her.

Fastfoward 6 months later. We both met special people who we later married.

She now has 2 kids (I think) and is quite happily married for 5 years now.

It may not happen the same way, but you'll find your happiness.

If the dog was the problem, then the dog was not the problem. Someone wasn't being honest about how they felt.