Dear Elle, or, Why I Became a Muslim

I keep forgetting that when I write in my blog, technically anyone can read it.

So, to Elle, who wanted to know why I became a Muslim (and because I think even the people who know me probably don't know), I present the following. I apologize that it took me five bazillion years to write it, but I was in the midst of reading a bunch of ridiculous SOL (Standards of Learning) writing prompts about how my students would have their family from a runaway tiger in a zoo, and I was walking around with a little storm cloud of self-pity over my head, and I just couldn't do it yet.

I'm feeling better today.

This probably has something to do with the massive stack of pancakes that I consumed this morning.

Regardless, I probably started becoming a Muslim when I quit being a Catholic, at the age of sixteen. (In an unlikely turn of events, when I told my mother of my decision, she replied, "That's all right. I never liked it, either.") I had many complaints about Catholicism, largely stemming from the inferiority I felt as a female member of the congregation, and because there were some questions that I had about the logic of Christianity.

Although I stated this before, I will say it again. I have no problem whatsoever with Christianity. If that's the path to God that works best for you, and you find it helpful, that's wonderful. It's just not something that worked for me.

The main complaint that I formed went something like this:

If Jesus (and consequently, God) had to die for our sins and be resurrected, doesn't that necessarily mean that God is not omnipotent?

In other words, it made no sense to me that the creator of the world, who should know all that will happen, would knowingly allow Adam and Eve to bring original sin upon us all, and then later realize, "Oh, wait. I guess it's time to undo original sin." God should have just been able to make that happen without all of the rigmarole of becoming human, dying, and ascending into heaven.

Really, this is the story of how I became agnostic, too, because I had no idea what Islam was until I met this very lovely man in graduate school. He never really talked much about his faith, but I kept doing embarrassing things, like calling during prayer, and trying to feed him during fasting, and so I started to read about Islam to stop making a fool of myself.

The more I read, the more I found I agreed with.

The more questions that I had, the more it seemed that Islam was providing answers.

And I admit that there are some things that I am still adjusting to, and some things that I'm not sure I'll ever really like. I'm still figuring out exactly the position of women; I know that there is a great deal of respect given to women and motherhood, and women have far more rights than Westerners tend to realize. Because right now I still feel a little more outside of Islam than inside, because I'm still learning, it's hard for me to judge.

If anyone is interested in hearing more about that topic, let me know and I'll see what I can put together.

I'm open to any questions or discussions, which I will presume in advance will be kind-hearted. I'm not the best person to explain Islam, but I can explain more about my decision if need be.